Blogging for a soul of mine

Sounds so plain (i mean the title) yet it has complex meaning to be explored and digested. Cant think an exact word to anticipate the real "emotion" toward the word. Okies, feel bit keyed up here because tomorow i'll fly back to Kajang...well, life must go on tho. Nah, nothing much i do currently as i just read and read anything..huhu my mood to read is so "impressive"..so rajin la pulak..Yeah, at least i have some awarness about certain issses when i am requested to speak my mind.haha.Yesterday i viewed my gradmum's pics. I was /am totaly feelin so blue because of that but then remember "to die we have to live and not all can live. So for those who are livining and celebreating thier life, no matter what it takes and no matter how hard the god takes "other life" from you, it (death) is just a part of a life (i watched OPRAH's show and i got these words from it). Well, am ok now. Thnaks for some friends and companies who are giving condelance.I appreciate it guys.I still remember, a friend of mine gave me some "tonic" words and gave a shoulder for me while the "sorrow" came to hit my ego, then i was having tear on the plane as i was heading to swk on that night.Talking about appreciation i have the words are still cycling in my mind.....i will stcik to the words!So, i give these tributes to all my friends (1st degree of 2nd or 3rd or....infinity degree of you,all of you deserve to be my friends)...just a lame tought tho! ;p


Dear Frineds,

Somewhere between the *procrastination* and the homework.. and the incessant forwards and the friendships and the calls to each other complaining about CrUsHeS and BF/GF!! Somewhere between the phone calls to oldfriends and the "I miss you's", the "I love you's" and the "What are we doing tonight's?" And somewherebetween all of the changing and growing...somewhere between the classes and the skippingclasses...and the StUdYiNg for teStS...And thePRETENDING to "StUdY" for TeStS... And the downright NOT StUdYiNg for TeStS... I forgot--I forgot what ScHooL was all about.

Somewhere between all the appointments, starbuck coffee, and Mc Donald's... paying bills and then not paying bills...Making plans then breaking plans... Appearing, Disappearing, then reappearing ... I forgot--I forgot what it was like to cry. I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy... And that pretending tobe SmArT doesn't make you smart .. I forgot that you can't just forget the past infear of the FUTURE... I forgot that you can't control falling in LoVe.. And that you can't PERTEND NOT to make yourself fall in *LoVe*.... I learned that I can LOVE...

I learned that it's okay to MEsS UP.... And it's okay to ask for HELP!!!.. And it's okay to feel like crap... I learned it's okay to cOmPLaiNand wHINe to all your friends for a whole day........ I learned that sometimes the things you wantmost you just can't have and the things that you look for are right in front of you.I learned that the greatest thing about HiGh ScHOoL and CoLLeGe and the working worldit isn't about the parties or the DRiNKiNG or the Hookups ...

It's the *FrIeNdShIpS*, which means taking chances. I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about... I learned that TIME and LOVE can heal all things... I learned that just when you think it can't get worse - it does! ...but with the love and support of friends - you survive... I've learned that when you start feeling BaD about L O S I N G touch and about those that you've lost! They too, are feeling the same way....

I learned that letters from friends are the most important things. And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better! But, basically, I just learned that my friends........ Both old and new..... are the most importantpeople to me in the world AND.......without them, I wouldn't be whoI am today.....

So this is a THANK YOU to all of my friends... For always being there. And even if we're not on good terms or we have lost touch...

I will always have an unconditionallove for you.. ~Always and forever ~ to deem a special relationship from a normal friendship, well i am open to it~

~ i do believe that a good relationship will come from a good platform which give u time and space to know each other! So i am still beliving about it as i am open to any posibilities because i am just a human who has a heart and to talk about feeling i have not enough power or acess (acess? as the way u enter ur PIN numb at ATM??huhuh..can u do so to acess heart's ATM?) to get tru a pure heart. Nah, no body perfect but then i do believe that if it is not about "death and life" we stil can do "fix" some mess... all of us deserve to have it if u have a prefect attitude toward it and also find the connection for feeling toward each other...

Josh is blogin off~