26 May 2008

I feel i want to dance in the moonlight

Life is not that easy but it may have lof of beautifulness within the difficulties it offers to us..

Today, cant believe that I still can feel “easy” and happening. A short meeting with my supervisor and there is another huge change which is, I need to “vessel” my research agenda to another new platform. As I told you guys in my previous post, I am conducting my thesis fieldwork at UiTM Shah Alam. Hence, I drastically need to toggle my platform to other podium. OMG, I don’t really be aware of why doing research is so hard. If I knew then I would have a preference to do full coursework module ( as I am considering my self to do a PhD, coz if you have an unyielding understanding of doing a solid research and your will be able to ring a ball to be in the line of scholar or educator) and by having such mode (coursework) you just need to have a dissertation which may need you to carry out a small fieldwork or even scrutinize the primary data (most probably you will do a review). I guess I am impervious to the sweeping changes which happen in last minute time. So what I have learnt tru this journey of doing a research with my supervisor, I can adopt the changing in last minute time and able to react to the current changing without any delay or involvedness but of course the tense is all over my mind tho! So here is my desk pic which is taking the 1st place after I woke up from my bed.

I am in my critical stage now as I have only a month to complete all things. Meaning I would not be able to in Sarawak during this gawai celebration. Most of my close friends are there during this period of time. My supervisor says that too much thing to be counted as I will have my viva so to avoid my self and her self from being questioned by the committee of school of social, development and environmental studies, so we need to be so very detail in each line of my research. I have told about my thesis in prior post as I mentioned that I have only minor changes but then today after re-considering all aspects which may sound not really solid or sound so flimsy to be debated, so once again am being a victim to such situation. To be honest, my supervisor has 2 master degrees and one of them is a master in research science. So I bet she must be so detail in every aspect of conducting a research. She is one of the killer lecturers and I am choosing her with my full of heart content. I choose her to be my supervisor coz am not that cleaver so hoping that by being supervised by her, at least I can be very scrupulous and detail as she is and also being more articulate to debate in any research arena. For me this is not a disaster but I take this kind of occurrence to be my beyond price of my student’s life and this kind of thing will be counted to be my “old-grandfather story” later on.

Some of people may handle their nerve-racking head with their own ways but for me, I will head my self to a karaoke center. Today I had a good time to sing all songs I adore with. This is my first time to be alone or without a duet. I am not really enjoy to be alone by my self as I be devoted to to be in a group and that would be so fucking happening. I didn’t tell pembuat kek about my current condition so I be so reserve for my seft (at least for today). Besides that, I will not full my seft with having a heavy meal due to the stressfulness . In fact, I will have some light exercise or workout then write something. Oh ya my guitar is out of its voice due to tune hitch.So I feel so lonesome for not hearing the music of my soul..hehehehe. Tonight, after a light jogging and doing some workout, I had a light salad. Now I have changed my predilection of drinking habit by taking tea with honey instead of having 3 in 1 Nescafe. As the age is increasing I am monitoring my food intake seriously. If you happen to hear this “beauty is pain” then welcome to the new prototype fellas, charming is excruciating! More often than not, I will change my dinner either taking oat or salad. Here is the picture of my humble meal for tonight. Walau stress pun tak de makan bagai tak ingat dunia ok. Dah la tak jadi balik then need to stay alone at home.
The cute cup. I had humbel mixed salad with, egg, fried bean, bean sprouts and tomato are hidden by the salad leaves, honey, mayonise and olive oil.The after the dinner i had some bananas. A very healthy meal. Oh ya, as i stricly monitor my diet so today i find my seft with a nice weight which is 70kg. Those who pump the mucles in gym will normaly have the weight at least 70kg. But then i stop to take any suppliment to my muscles then i trim the body shape so it can be lean.

This is the 70kg look. The highest weight i have gained was 75.5kg

Previously, i said i had the big mac which is advertized in the media. Here is the look of it and the taste is not that mouth-watering to me. Every time i had fast food i will feel guilt to my self. So i will put extra efforts to get the calories being cut down after taking those fast foods.

Ed told me to have a bunch of dudes who may sound gracious and their brains have the same craziness level with us, at least be able to join a beach party by wearing all white.yang pemalu2 tu siap korang..so no worry coz I and ed will put in order a module to edify those shyer!It may sound as ragging but no worry fellas as we will “stand by you” all the journey of those ragging agendas. Ala2 induksi pulak.So Ed told me try to organize a group. The theme for the group will be “sharing is caring”. So, without any question I nodded to him and not because he treats me with a rusty knife but because of the idea is logic and helping each other from not feeling empty soul for nothing. I agree with ed the ged2. So he sms me told me to make another blog for the purpose of this “group wanna be” and for that he by his power and hereto, to choose me to handle the blog. Ala2 HR le aku ne siap buat marketing lagi. Ed is the founder and our 1st member is daus the ged2. The next dice will be telling us who will be the mystery candidate and just be patient waiting the ball being rang by me ok Ed.

Ok, I guess I need to off by now, as there are lot of things to be done and being procrastinate is really me tho. Hopefully I manage to settle my thesis as soon as possible so I can be at home sweet home immediately. Sounds so promising huh? who care? ~

Tought of today, which one is you? In this situation, there will be some sorf of hypothesises which are :-

`being controled by the finance to have wonderful meals, so you can have an extra badjet to pay the loan of your housing, car, personal loan payment, ect.

`being controled by a tight diet

`being controled by the foods themselve which they might not seem to be fucking attractive to ur nafsu makan..

xoxoxox, Josh