31 December 2007

wont promise anything.....

OMG..i don’t want to be heartless…please don’t
Out of blue I feel that am heartless and am so scare and worries about this. I’m not intended to be so and be harm to my self. This birthday celebration will be the weird thing I guess and it is so much put me in lot of questions about why this world is so cool to those who are looking or a pureness among other humans? My feeling is being hurted and I do feel disappointed .. The blue feelin seems to knock my purity toward lover thing. I don’t want to be a phoenix (if u have wathced X-Men, then u know what i mean here, ;D). I do upset with some friends here, not to mention involving those close friends... Well, what the fuck coz I don’t live with their money. Be what I am.. regardless if it causes me to be inhuman well, so sorry for that. Will be cool again I guess once be able to love my self then I will try to spred the love to all over the world. To all friends who wished me a birthday and New year wish, I appreciate that and those who are not, well, not my fucking business and in fact not to blame me if i cant remember it coz the date has no siginificant at all compared to mine.hahahaha... “evil sigh”

the phoniex of Me

My december

My 31….

Hi fellas, here we are. Meeting here again with my new updates conversely it may sound dim and dry. Well, frst of all, I would like to say, Happy birthday to my self, and yes, every 31st December, the price of my physical n mind will be increased and that is the rule of universe. Big number bring big responsibilities on your shoulder. Up to you to put them in a balance either on ur right or left shoulder based on your own expedient. Right or left? Well, if u put ‘em on your right then you will do it right away and vice versa. All of these are done based on your life menu, fellas. Thanks for those who wished me and I do be glad about the wishes friends and really I am. Well it would sound exquisite if the wish comes directly from those who u love and adore. Ok. Too much of hoping will kill u then but when you are in this stage of searching and accepting then you are putting ur heart at a risk either u will be fine all the way or u r getting heartless due to obnoxious and unpleasant journey that u have encountered with. Too much craps here so I guess I go to the some “down to earth issues”.

I have no ideas, today I keen to be reserve and restful even during my Birthday. I declined to celebrate New year at Robert’s house, I declined going out to KL to meet Odde and Christy, no mood to do this and to do that. Gosh, today I was a bit offensive. Thanks for Daus (btw, happy besday to u my neighbour as he was born on 30 dec 82! he is one of my Dec mate a.k.a neigbhour) coz tries to cheer me up and ur efforts to do so are granted. For what reason? Well, someone mirrored me in a pessimistic and off-putting way! That is the reason. Do I look such fucking whore?

This is my today horoscopes:-

If you start off this day feeling a bit depressed, try to get outside as soon as you can for a brief stroll. No matter what the weather is like, a big dose of fresh air will get you back on track. A blue mood is nothing to worry about -- it could just be your mind telling you to slow down a bit and ponder some new emotions that your heart is feeling. Taking a short walk will give you the time you need to reset your brain and start feeling like yourself again.

~nah i guess it is just a coincidence to me as i am not that rule out this kind of thing.

Today, I spent my time to watch movies, I bought a cake for myself and with a bottle of Marinda Strawberry but i wont take some snaps for them.

Well, the last day I celebrated new year in KL was end of 2002. That was the last day I throw my excitement to give an affectionate welcome to the 2003. New year? What does it mean to you? Well, for me it is a year to re-think again what you have done and how do u spend your life time nicely? I read a book about gender it tells us that after 30 year old, men will take many times to re-think and regret the things they have not done in past rather than think what should they do in future or at least at this time of speaking as the age is moving forward. This could be due to metapause but for women it will be called as menopause. In the stage of metapause or midlife crisis, the noteworthy personal changeover men in their forties experiences can have both negative and positive consequences- depression, suicide, and alcohol problems often become manifest at this time. The books tell us that families are at higher risk for divorce. On the positive side, a man’s heightened sense of self during midlife can be useful for reintegration of the masculine and feminine traits which our culture mandates as being separate for most of a man’s life. Ok, if you get dizzy coz of this fact let picture it like this, in this stage where we can see men become more nurturant and women more independent as a women can standing apart from her husband and this may relieve the husband from his burden of responsibilities he feels he has carried for the family. Hence the wife who grows in assertiveness and independent provides the best sources of support to her husband at this stage. This is a fact. Wont describe this more. Not in the mood of sharing the ideas and fact now coz I still feel the offensiveness that I have here.

By the way, I guess I have to stop here but it is just for a while fellas. To all my silent readers, I wish you all have a nice day ahead people and happy new year. New year comes but will it brings new hopes to us? As usual, I wish you all, all the best to seek your needs and all of them are out there. The truth is out there ( quoted from X-Files).. and am listening the song 'best in me' by Blue...nice wording as we are in the line to look the past which enable us to create the more strong foundation to create the future..

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Josh.