31 May 2008

Selamat Hari Gawai Gayu Guru Gerai Nyamai and Selamat Pesta Keamatan

I would like to take this opputurnity to say" have a toast during this gawai celecbration to all my srawakian friends and selamat pesta keamatan to my sabahan friends. An to all malaysians, happy holiday and enjoy the vibe of the celebration. Am feel so glomy today coz my mind is at my 'kampung" and lot of my close friends are going to celebrate our reunion, SPM 1999 on 3june. Well, due to my thesis, i need to stay back. Besides, out of blue i miss my late grandmother. I saw her in my dream, yesterday. This is the 1st time she appreared in my dream since she was passed away last september, 07. In that dream, i cried so hard as i was the most closer person to her. She spent lot for me tho! Hardly not to feel regard due to the fact that i was unable to bring her to walk around with me. Hope she will rest in a peace place.

Have no mood to blog but then i am really glad that having gawai celebration with multi-ethnices, races, and believes of sarawakian and hope this will last forever and ever..

Selamat hari gawai gayu guru gerai nyamai lantang senang nguan menua (happy gawai dayak, and have a pelasent, prosperity of life and also full of great blessing in this beautiful this world)

~aram kitai ngansar ke kaki, awak tertungkap angkat baru kaban, udah "ndai' alu ngerau kaban~

xoxoxo Josh

27 May 2008

How would u measure the meaning of love?

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In
inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you
measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of

525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes - how can you measure
the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or
the way that she died.

It’s time now to sing out, tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember
the love! Remember the love! Remember
the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love.

~spread the love all over the world, especially those you love most~

xoxoxox, Josh

Toploader - Dancing in the moonlight

Listening to this song makes me remember the time when i was in secondary.I love this song and havent listened to it for ages!

26 May 2008

I feel i want to dance in the moonlight

Life is not that easy but it may have lof of beautifulness within the difficulties it offers to us..

Today, cant believe that I still can feel “easy” and happening. A short meeting with my supervisor and there is another huge change which is, I need to “vessel” my research agenda to another new platform. As I told you guys in my previous post, I am conducting my thesis fieldwork at UiTM Shah Alam. Hence, I drastically need to toggle my platform to other podium. OMG, I don’t really be aware of why doing research is so hard. If I knew then I would have a preference to do full coursework module ( as I am considering my self to do a PhD, coz if you have an unyielding understanding of doing a solid research and your will be able to ring a ball to be in the line of scholar or educator) and by having such mode (coursework) you just need to have a dissertation which may need you to carry out a small fieldwork or even scrutinize the primary data (most probably you will do a review). I guess I am impervious to the sweeping changes which happen in last minute time. So what I have learnt tru this journey of doing a research with my supervisor, I can adopt the changing in last minute time and able to react to the current changing without any delay or involvedness but of course the tense is all over my mind tho! So here is my desk pic which is taking the 1st place after I woke up from my bed.

I am in my critical stage now as I have only a month to complete all things. Meaning I would not be able to in Sarawak during this gawai celebration. Most of my close friends are there during this period of time. My supervisor says that too much thing to be counted as I will have my viva so to avoid my self and her self from being questioned by the committee of school of social, development and environmental studies, so we need to be so very detail in each line of my research. I have told about my thesis in prior post as I mentioned that I have only minor changes but then today after re-considering all aspects which may sound not really solid or sound so flimsy to be debated, so once again am being a victim to such situation. To be honest, my supervisor has 2 master degrees and one of them is a master in research science. So I bet she must be so detail in every aspect of conducting a research. She is one of the killer lecturers and I am choosing her with my full of heart content. I choose her to be my supervisor coz am not that cleaver so hoping that by being supervised by her, at least I can be very scrupulous and detail as she is and also being more articulate to debate in any research arena. For me this is not a disaster but I take this kind of occurrence to be my beyond price of my student’s life and this kind of thing will be counted to be my “old-grandfather story” later on.

Some of people may handle their nerve-racking head with their own ways but for me, I will head my self to a karaoke center. Today I had a good time to sing all songs I adore with. This is my first time to be alone or without a duet. I am not really enjoy to be alone by my self as I be devoted to to be in a group and that would be so fucking happening. I didn’t tell pembuat kek about my current condition so I be so reserve for my seft (at least for today). Besides that, I will not full my seft with having a heavy meal due to the stressfulness . In fact, I will have some light exercise or workout then write something. Oh ya my guitar is out of its voice due to tune hitch.So I feel so lonesome for not hearing the music of my soul..hehehehe. Tonight, after a light jogging and doing some workout, I had a light salad. Now I have changed my predilection of drinking habit by taking tea with honey instead of having 3 in 1 Nescafe. As the age is increasing I am monitoring my food intake seriously. If you happen to hear this “beauty is pain” then welcome to the new prototype fellas, charming is excruciating! More often than not, I will change my dinner either taking oat or salad. Here is the picture of my humble meal for tonight. Walau stress pun tak de makan bagai tak ingat dunia ok. Dah la tak jadi balik then need to stay alone at home.
The cute cup. I had humbel mixed salad with, egg, fried bean, bean sprouts and tomato are hidden by the salad leaves, honey, mayonise and olive oil.The after the dinner i had some bananas. A very healthy meal. Oh ya, as i stricly monitor my diet so today i find my seft with a nice weight which is 70kg. Those who pump the mucles in gym will normaly have the weight at least 70kg. But then i stop to take any suppliment to my muscles then i trim the body shape so it can be lean.

This is the 70kg look. The highest weight i have gained was 75.5kg

Previously, i said i had the big mac which is advertized in the media. Here is the look of it and the taste is not that mouth-watering to me. Every time i had fast food i will feel guilt to my self. So i will put extra efforts to get the calories being cut down after taking those fast foods.

Ed told me to have a bunch of dudes who may sound gracious and their brains have the same craziness level with us, at least be able to join a beach party by wearing all white.yang pemalu2 tu siap korang..so no worry coz I and ed will put in order a module to edify those shyer!It may sound as ragging but no worry fellas as we will “stand by you” all the journey of those ragging agendas. Ala2 induksi pulak.So Ed told me try to organize a group. The theme for the group will be “sharing is caring”. So, without any question I nodded to him and not because he treats me with a rusty knife but because of the idea is logic and helping each other from not feeling empty soul for nothing. I agree with ed the ged2. So he sms me told me to make another blog for the purpose of this “group wanna be” and for that he by his power and hereto, to choose me to handle the blog. Ala2 HR le aku ne siap buat marketing lagi. Ed is the founder and our 1st member is daus the ged2. The next dice will be telling us who will be the mystery candidate and just be patient waiting the ball being rang by me ok Ed.

Ok, I guess I need to off by now, as there are lot of things to be done and being procrastinate is really me tho. Hopefully I manage to settle my thesis as soon as possible so I can be at home sweet home immediately. Sounds so promising huh? who care? ~

Tought of today, which one is you? In this situation, there will be some sorf of hypothesises which are :-

`being controled by the finance to have wonderful meals, so you can have an extra badjet to pay the loan of your housing, car, personal loan payment, ect.

`being controled by a tight diet

`being controled by the foods themselve which they might not seem to be fucking attractive to ur nafsu makan..

xoxoxox, Josh

24 May 2008

It is going to be the Gawai session

It is near to the end of this month. I can say that, I have 80% of my possibilities not to fly back until I complete my draft at this midst of June. I need to get to the line carefully so I can complete my whole complete draft for submission. Our Voice Viva date has been announced which is on 17th July 2008. So, by that time, we just have a week to complete a quantity of corrections before the final draft will be released. Am too much worried due to the viva as there will be 3 lecturers will be a criticizer and my supervisor will be in the room to see how I can articulate and put across my academic stands and being able to grasp the notion of a scholar- verbal and non verbal. So sad when i cant be at home during the end of this month. In Sarawak, Gawai celebration has the vibe to shake the nation (i mean among Sarawakian). Visiting and get some rare foods that you may never come accros before. It is a celebration of harvasting session among those dayaks (including, iban, kayan, kenyah, bidayuh, and more and more). And all these ethnics are considered as bumiputra and also all Sabahan i guess). I am proud to be sarawakian coz hardly you can see "racist agenda" is being an issue or it may NOT a issue at all coz people are same and nothing make you diffrent except the social status - either you is "kaya" or "miskin'. But then, the harmony is all over the places.Home sweet home fellas, believe me.

Yesterday I went to UiTM Shah Alam due to my research purpose. As my thesis is about Gender Typing of curriculum development in the studies of hospitalities and tourism, to be exact. The topic itself is a comparison of psychology, sociology, education studies and tourism studies. To be honest, as I major in development science which is more to urban and regional planning, I never ever come across to the perspective of hospitalities, psychology, and gender studies. Hardly to believe that I come out with a thesis which is 80% of it, is really out from my education background and my friends say that am kinda doing ‘digging your own grave” for such thing. Well, I opt the topic tho and am not blaming others for that. Kinda cool to dispute your self by doing something which is totally new to you. Doing a new thing is kinda learning something which is out from your studies edge.

Pembuat kek is out of town as am feel so down. Hahah. But then it is ok at least I can focus more on the thesis then. I feel not in the mood to go out even to have the lunch or dinner. Yesterday I was alone at KL Central by hoping that Firdaus will drop by from his office. But out of blue he couldn’t make it so I was boring for nothing. It is not a big remorseful I guess as I had chance to taste how implausible is the “big mac” from MacD. The commercial is so ‘gempak’ and hilarious but no harm to give my selft a try tho. Am not the hard die fan of Mac D rather than KFC. Even I guess “burger tepi jalan” is much more cool and “jaw-dropping’ and lip smacking to me. Even am not the fan fo Mac D, so no harm for me to shout “ two beef parties with, lettuce, onions, prickles, in the same seed bun” (do I sound as the same as the advertisement?Hardly to make them to be sounded as a rap enuciation).

The day seems to be bored to me. Am missing lot of people, my family, and pembuat kek and my close friends. I gave mike a buzz this morning in case I will drop by to Kuching and may be I can hook up with that fella. But now he is out of kuching due to his personal matters in lawas. Cikgu Mike is my coursemate when I was in my undergraduate level. Well, time changes a lot but it may not effect my friendship with some of my close friends. I guess I better off for now. No ideas and I guess my passion to write is fluctuated day by day and the flair of writing is not “happening”. This few month I have many things to share but then I have noting much to write. So how that can be?

Till then, enjoy the day and Selamat Hari Gawai to all Sarawakian and Selamat hari Keamatan to all Sabahan.

23 May 2008

yovie and nuno-menjaga hati

such a wonderful tune and wording.The heart of songwriters is so beautiful.

20 May 2008

Here In My Home - Malaysian Artistes For Unity

such a beautiful song and the "guitar" makes the lines sound so placid. I impress with the simple song like this even for the begining stanzas i cant get the meaning of it not to say i dont understand each of it lexicals but then hardly to catch the stanzas with the title "here in my home in the context of unity understanding! The connection of each word may weak but then the vibe and the videoclip seems have the more impacts that the words within the song. Syabas to the Malaysian Artistes For Unity!Great job to all

xoxox Josh

14 May 2008

Counting for the days to be at home.

Hai fellas, it has been quite long for me to upgrade my blog. So busy with many things lately. My litter sister was around, then I involved with a conference then the busy to make love (this is the best part to make Ed- Gedix to feel envious about me and my love). He is sometimes a bit sentap (so nutty )Seem that my blog is pending with current craps of mine.Ok. here I am. Am writing some of experiences that I have had those few days. He is so “gedix semacam” with me lately. He is lack of zealous hugging ( kurang dakapan chinta katakan)!!

Within this week, I have watched forbidden kingdom- cool with lively 2 different cultures which are merged together to create a great action film, and what happened in Vegas- the romantic comedy of the month. I watched it with ‘pembuat kek” and am carving for it for more and more. Since now is semester break, so pembuat kek is away for a month and half during this school holiday. Sounds so poignant when another part of ur feeling is away for you. This is just a temptation for u to triumph over and be firm for the relationship. Well, that is the life paving which may come in discrepancy silhouettes.

I just got an information from my faculty and the literal date for my capitulation is on July. That’s mean that I will have 2 more months to settle everything. Due to last minute changes which make my writing to be changed almost 50% of this makes me so exceedingly out of my mind and I managed to revolutionize it (including the theory, methodology and question forms). Now, after having the respond from my supervisor, then there are only 20% of charges to be rephrased and amended. So, the next step is to work on the data. In fact, my supervisor has been promoted to be a deputy of Institute of Occidental Studies. This may limit my time to meet her up. Well, I guess the position she has may suit her desires (unmarried women tend to make her life as busy as they can so they wont feel so unfilled for nothing).

My mum called me up, she is so worried when my sister told her than I lost my weight radically. Well, I told her am losing my weight in a healthy way. By the way, am taking oat with low fat. Literally the advertisement tells us that this kind of oat will absorb the cholesterol in our body and by taking for a whole month will give you some results of losing weight. Well, I do keep on doing my exercises, work out and also strictly monitoring my diet plan. As our age is moving forward, the methobolisme in our body will dwindle so the body will easily out of it shape if a proper diet has not been taken seriously.

Am searching for the song “sempurna” by Andra & The Backbone. Its words is so magic to me. The song “sempurna” has two versions which are sang by Andra (with acoustic mode) and Gita Gutawa. Am not a vocal expert but then, technically, Gita Gutawa’s voice seems so to be nasal and her voice projection is not my type tho (using more nasal resonator I guess). Nonetheless, her phrasing which is reffering to "singing a line of music", is smooth at all and that is due her great breathing techniques. Besides that, here notes are clear and her high notes are sustained with full of energy and the voice sounds so rounded and unique to me. She has the ability to hold those long sustained notes and graduated from soft to loud beautifully and this ability does impressme. Just that to me her voice seems to be fake ( but no offence at all people, and forgive me if am wrong) or even sometime I think that her voice is too much supported by the studio technologies. So due to her “so called fake” the message which underline the song is hardly achieved or hardly attracts my emotion to be touched. Andra & the Backbone really plays a good job here (to me at least). I do feel the vibe and the words are so marvelous to me which is delivered via the acoustic mode and also the unique voice of the vocalist. His chest tessitura (vocal 'sweet range') is sweet to be heard and besides the voice sounds a bit hustle. Well, That all about music then. So, tonight I will start to squeeze my brain to read the comments from my supervisor and try to redo the writing within this week so I can fly back to Sarawak with a very great smile. By the way, to all my Form 5 (SPM 1999) Schoolmates, Formates and also Classmates, we are going to have a reunion in Kapit. Anything do let me know and the masterminds of this reunion are Julia and Rita. The theme is black and white. There probably will be a prom night tho.About the exact date, I have no idea and I will spread (tru my blog and my friendster) the news once I certainly know about it. So, anything do let me know if you people do have some quires which are tinged in your mind. Till then, happy weekdays!

Xoxoxox Josh